Living abroad, as I do, I am often asked how I would describe the differences between the various regions of the United States.
By this, I mean I have been asked this question once, by a man who was clearly reaching for conversation topics. Nevertheless, I thought my answer was pretty good, and so relay it to you here, now.
The best way to understand America’s different regions is in terms of each as a specific literary genre.
The Northeast is an Epic: man against world, wrestling and overcoming its challenges as he develops into his own heroic true self.
The South is a Romance, far more interested in living life for its passions, and unpacking the pleasures and horrors of life in that volatile dance.
The West is, well, a Western, wild and untamed in the unruly frontier.
Until that is, you get to California. California’s all fantasy: the fairy tale variety in Lost Angeles and the Sci-Fi kind when you head north to the Bay.
The Mid-West is a pastoral, reflecting on the minutiae of daily life in which some revel and others would just assume fly past.
Hawaii and Alaska are outdoor adventure stories, rich with beauty and eternal messages that make a man feel happily small.
Florida is best understood as a Reader’s Digest article about swingers, adapted for Reality TV.
And Texas is a Bible parable no one really understands.
Finally, there’s that crop of Americans who have lived in too many places to identify with one region or genre and thus best identified by the listicle blog post analyzing others as a distraction from writing their own original work.